TINO BOMELINO – BROUGHT FORWARD DUE TO APOCALYPSE

Firstly, the good news: the world will soon end because of artificial intelligence. So we no longer have to worry about climate change, flat earthers or failed Bluetooth connections. The bad news: never again Disneyland. Because we’ll all be dead. And they won’t let you in dead.

Less composed artists would probably lose their nerve in the face of these facts. They’d probably win a poetry slam naked except for a cardboard sign that says “STOP PRETENDING THE APOCALYPSIS, YOU INSANE PEOPLE, PLEASE” and achieve nothing.

Yes, we could still stop the apocalypse, but that would be a lot of work. We’d have to write all the unnecessary emails ourselves again and there would be no way to listen to “Breathless” in the voice of Darth Vader. Nobody wants that, of course. So the only thing left to do is flee forwards. In his inevitable last solo programme, Tino Bomelino once again fires off all the relevant art forms that mankind has produced in its 300,000 years (you have to fight your way through the first 299,960 years, but then it gets really good!) Stand Up Comedy, songs with the Loop Station, cartoons and a cardboard sign saying “Huiiiiiiii!”.

So cancel your building society savings contracts, pawn your Tamagotchis and buy a ticket for the last solo programme in the history of mankind! Money will soon be worthless anyway, so give it to Tino! If, contrary to expectations, the apocalypse occurs before this date, there will be free Aperol Spritz for all those still alive.